So much leadership development is about “change”. Change means “to make something or someone different; to alter or modify”. When you’re being asked to change, the implication is there is something wrong with you. You’re not good enough or you need to adapt or be more like someone else.
Change through imitation is uncomfortable. That’s why people resist it. Modifying behavior seeks to take a fragment from the psyche, then modify that. But most often when you change, it’s temporary. You easily change back to established patterns and behavior.
In our coaching firm, we never ask an executive to change, only grow. Growth means undergoing natural development leading to maturity. Growth diminishes the ego and advances the whole of the psyche which is why it’s always permanent. There is no perfect leadership style to become a world class strategic leader. The one quality that all long-term outstanding leaders possess? They are the most mature person in the room, not necessarily the smartest. People love to report to a deeply evolved leader who makes them better.
The new findings in personality research don’t encourage people to change or to alter their genetic and life experiential journey. Rather, each of us has unique, genetically driven signature strengths that are reflected in our personality. With proper training, practice, and coaching, these strengths can be honed, leveraged, and used strategically to drive success.
Great leaders know that their achievements weren’t derived by imitation or change but by bringing forth their own individual best, whatever that may be. It’s a huge mistake and a waste of time to bet your success on imitating someone or something that you’re not. You’ve likely coached someone or even been coached to “just be yourself.” So, we ask the obvious question. Why should leadership development be any different?
The universal truth of life is simply this: most problems never go away; we grow beyond their effects on the ego. Think back. What is something that used to really irritate or annoy you but now, it doesn’t have that same impact on your psyche. What happened? Did anything change? Chances are that you likely matured beyond the event(s). Reality shifted; you grew beyond the stress, permanently.
What’s more appealing, change or growth? It’s not change you seek. Believe in yourself and become inspired by your strengths. Grow into the leader and person you aspire to be.